Not sure what this feeling is – sad? bitter? mildly resentful? feeling alone? the fact that he left without actually spending time the way i planned/prepared for – because in a way we did say goodbye. but bitter? what am i upset about?
should i feel this way? was okay just now with the others, laughing and joking with them – guess it also made me feel less alone.
shouldn’t get upset also – because he did come and say bye so we did spend some time together + he went to discuss work with the others – but he knew that i had to leave early so why couldn’t he stay with me first – but also i didn’t ask so can’t expect that of him –
feeling negative but nothing to blame. instinctive reaction is to be upset – i guess also the thought of withdrawing is to protect myself from such future feelings? although this is mild – shouldn’t feel this way – i think there’s an extent of out of controlness which upsets me. I don’t like it when things happen out of my control, and esp involving him. I think that’s it.
Instnctive reaction is to feel upset and helpless – think this furthers the upset feeling – but. the things i can do without him here! the freedom i have 🙂 and being able to spend time and study with the other planktons. Its cool 🙂 not now but forget this feeling, let it pass over but don’t keep mulling over it 🙂 its cool