Not sure what this feeling is – sad? bitter? mildly resentful? feeling alone? the fact that he left without actually spending time the way i planned/prepared for – because in a way we did say goodbye. but bitter? what am i upset about?

should i feel this way? was okay just now with the others, laughing and joking with them – guess it also made me feel less alone.

shouldn’t get upset also – because he did come and say bye so we did spend some time together + he went to discuss work with the others – but he knew that i had to leave early so why couldn’t he stay with me first – but also i didn’t ask so can’t expect that of him –

feeling negative but nothing to blame. instinctive reaction is to be upset – i guess also the thought of withdrawing is to protect myself from such future feelings? although this is mild – shouldn’t feel this way – i think there’s an extent of out of controlness which upsets me. I don’t like it when things happen out of my control, and esp involving him. I think that’s it.

Instnctive reaction is to feel upset and helpless – think this furthers the upset feeling – but. the things i can do without him here! the freedom i have šŸ™‚ and being able to spend time and study with the other planktons. Its cool šŸ™‚ not now but forget this feeling, let it pass over but don’t keep mulling over it šŸ™‚ its cool


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s